OVER YOU!!!
7:10 PM
Things went complicated for me during our second quarterly examinations. I didn't expect everything would turn out to be wrong.
First, I didn't had a review for the exam. I was not that prepared because some things are bothering me. But still, I took the test seriously. What I did was to hardly recall our lessons for the second grading period.
During the second day of exam, my mind was not set. Something happened yesterday that makes my mood swing. I felt depressed and hopeless... The story goes this way...
“It’s over.”
Those were the only words he left before I gave my best slap on his damn good-looking face.
I am bitter and full of hatred since the one I love left me. Cruel. Unfair. That has been life for me since he decided to leave me for someone else. I asked. I listened. Then, finally, I let go. I forced myself to understand but I just couldn’t. I fought hard though obviously it was over and I played deaf to the nagging truth that what I’ve had didn’t work and will never work anymore.
But now, I want to tell him this: “I had loved you more than you think, but I feel very sorry that you have lost your chance to be loved more than you would ever feel in your life after you broke my heart into pieces, throw those pieces away…and said goodbye.”
Every time I pass by the place where he chose to hurt me, tears roll down my face. I can’t really help but cry. I remember how someone like him fooled me around. Did he really? I don’t know. I don’t want to know. The truth will hurt me. I swallowed my pride. I tried to ignore the pain of loving him. I tried to get over those sleepless nights but I just ended up crying in my bed…
Love is really unfair sometimes. The more I’d sacrificed. The more I was hurt. I felt I had given my best but it seemed not enough for him to realize my worth until such time, I had no choice but to give up.
I begged for him to stay when he decided to leave but after I realized what the real meaning of love is, I set him free. Asking for him to stay was the craziest thing I did for all of my life.
It will not hurt me this much if only I had not planted a seed in my heart three years ago…if only I did not love him for such a long time. I let that seed grow and took good care of it but I just cut it off and stopped it from growing. I knew that it will hurt me but it’s already nonsense for me if I still let it grow. Someday, somehow, I can plant another seed again if the day comes that I will be getting over him. Moving on is ahead of me. It’s all I want now…
Love ends with a reason but leaves with a lesson. I learned something in my past. If you love a person, set him free and let him find his happiness. Don’t force that person to love you back. I love him so I did let him go…
Love sacrifices. We don’t deserve each other. I know “God had already written the best love story for me” even before he came into my life, said that he loved me, then left me behind broken.
After the the two-day test, I'm now preparing for the 7th STEP-Regional Skills Development and Competition to be held at Mangaldan, Pangasinan next week. How I wish I will have to rest on our semestral break but husshhh... I guess, I will not!